Be Prepared

On the radio on Tuesday, a Liberian trying extra hard to sound like the BBC made a remark about the Boy Scouts of Liberia.

Me: Wait. What!?

T: What.

Me: There are boy scouts in Liberia?

T: Yes.

Me: What do they DO here?

T: Go to events.

Me: I can't believe this.

T: We call them chicken rogue. It make them mad but we laugh.

A rogue is a thief in Liberian English. Why would you call someone a chicken thief? Because small, nimble people thieve chickens.

Among other things.

Later that day, my colleague came in looking confused.

Me: What's up?

D: My little sister's sick.

Me: Is she OK?

D: Yes. She's my baby.

Me: You have many babies. How's your chimpanzee?

D: They took him.

Me: Who?

D: Thieves.

Me: To do what?

D: To eat him.

Me: How do you know??

D: They came over the fence at night. 

Me: Maybe they stole him to resell as a pet.

D: They left a blood trail. They took my dog, too. 

Me: Your...dog?

D: People eat dog here. They call it issue.

Me: They cooked your pets?

D: They cooked my pets. Meat is meat.

In the States, this would require family therapy and an immediate assembly of the neighborhood watch. 

Here, it's just Monday.