Friday, June 14, 2013

Loverboy

There is a terrible song I never cared for until I woke up singing it today. The chorus is as follows:

Everybody's workin' for the weekend
Everybody wants a new romance
Everybody's goin' off the deep end
Everybody needs a second chance


These lyrics take on an entirely different meaning when you live in Liberia where, at the end of a workweek, everyone expects their Friday. "Where my Friday?" you will hear from guards and porters and gardeners and, sometimes, strangers. Friday is the extra dollar your boss-man or boss-lady gives you for, like, doing your job. ("Where my _____?" is also heard all weekend-long and around Independence Day, Christmas and New Year's.)

For the record, I do not subscribe to Fridays or weekends because, seriously, where is my bonus for making it through a workweek? One Monday, I was asked in front of 15 people to tighten and brighten my work attire to impress visiting guests. Twice in the same week, I was forced to sing duets aloud for walking into all-staff meetings after silent prayer. Once, at 8 in the morning, a man had the nerve to say, "Avril, you're adding up! Don't deny yourself." Kids, this means: "Damn, girl, you are looking extra fleshy today. Keep it up." Last week, I almost threw down with two enraged motorbikers as I made an unprecedented U-turn on Old Road. And Tuesday evening, already late, I found myself playing sweaty vehicular Tetris in heels when I went to retrieve my car and found it wedged behind two others in a parking lot; the only guy on-site didn't know how to drive (obviously) so he threw three sets of keys at me, said, "Don't scratch the Lexus" and went back to his chair.

I don't want a Friday: I want a full-on party. 

2 comments:

HerrSlam said...

Next time we see each other, if you promise to swear secrecy for the rest of your life, I'll show you an amazing video featuring that very song...

TLL said...

I make no such promise and demand to see this footage.