Monday, March 26, 2012

The Walking Dead

I am not ashamed to say it: I have long feared a zombie apocalypse and went out of my way not to watch The Walking Dead.

It found its way into my room anyway, though, so I inhaled all of Season One in a day.

It was not my best-laid plan: I am now positive that the end is near.

Living in Monrovia doesn't exactly ease my concern.

Half the times I leave a parked car, I'm beseiged by beggars and amputees. They can smell the the guilt on me. And when I return, the car is being watched (read: sat on) by 1-5 self-appointed guards who then claw at my windows, enraged by my escape. 

I heard that someone visiting Monrovia once announced, "I am not here to nourish you!" Fair. I wanted to scream the same thing recently: sometimes, you see, the creature that wants a piece of you doesn't even approach you like a man -- it creeps into your water and eats you from the inside as I learned when I awoke looking well into my third trimester. Let me present my new friend, Giardia, a lovely little parasite that latched onto my intestine and fed its ass off.

Shooting it in the head wasn't an option and my pickaxe was not where I left it so I took a pill and hoped for the best.

There better be a cure for all of this (my irrational stupidity, included) in Season Two.

4 comments:

Jeff R said...

It's an awesome show. I haven't caught any of Season 2.

TLL said...

Jeffrey, you're in America: 24 hour electricity, TiVo, On Demand, and internet speeds that don't make you want to slaughter people.

You're killing me.

McFruity said...

Get well soon!

TLL said...

I am already looking only 4 months pregnant. Hot damn!