Dos Mil Doce

Being back in Monrovia after nine days in Morocco is a little disorienting.

For starters, my wool scarf went back into the closet. Immediately.

Today I saw a Liberian balancing hand-wrapped snacks on a platter on her head. I see fifty such woman a day but this woman dropped something and, without removing the platter, bent down, felt the sidewalk for the AWOL packet, found it and carried on. She did all of this without breaking eye contact with me.

I have never felt so uncoordinated.

Wait, that's a lie. I was falling all over Marrakech, with its uneven sidewalks and inexplicable stair separating living space from bathroom. (Who remembers a stair in the middle of the night??)

I decided to assess the Marrakech vs. Monrovia situation.

MARRAKECH	MONROVIA
Has winter.	Has no winter.
Has rich kids who look like Jersey Shore extras.	Has rich kids who look like Jersey Shore extras.
Culinary linchpin: tajine (for roasting).	Culinary linchpin: mortar & pestle (for smushing).
Has cinemas.	Has no cinemas.
Strangers demand money for things you didn’t want.	Strangers demand money for, like, no discernable reason.
Likelihood that you can communicate with a local in at least one language: 87%.	Likelihood that you can communicate with a local in plain English – 11%.
Medina kids misdirect you, hoping you’ll follow them in circles and pay them for their services.	City kids stare blankly at you, then remember they’ve been pulled out of school to earn money.
Girls and women giggle side-by-side on their own motorbikes.	I have never seen a non-male drive a motorbike. Ever.
Old men ride bicycles.	Old men don’t even cross the boulevard.
People stare until you notice, then shyly look away.	People continue to glare at you long after you’ve noticed.
You deprive a seller of fun if you don’t haggle.	You deprive a seller of funds if you haggle.
The muezzin reminds you it’s time to pray.	An empty wallet reminds you it’s time to pray.
If your hair is hidden, it’s tucked under a scarf.	If your hair is hidden, it’s tucked under a wig.
Customer service is an actual thing.	Customer service is a figment of my imagination.
Soccer is best in flip-flops, anywhere.	Soccer is best in flip-flops, anywhere.