1. Miss the first half hour. (It seems that funerals – only funerals – start on time in Liberia. Thanks, Mom.)
2. Refuse communion because you had a "rough night" but not because you're areligious. (Thanks, Mom.)
3. Be documented on film as not knowing the words to any hymn or prayer. (Mom...)
4. Wear head-to-toe white. Or purple. Or a leather shirt and jeans.
5. Wonder, midway, if you're at the right church.
6. See an African sing Italian opera.
7. Pause the service entirely and force the congregation to walk the aisles and greet each other.
8. Refer fondly to memories of being born out of wedlock and spanked as a child; the crowd laughs.
9. Collect money "for the burial" though the deceased is being laid to rest several time zones away.
10. Answer your telephone.
2. Refuse communion because you had a "rough night" but not because you're areligious. (Thanks, Mom.)
3. Be documented on film as not knowing the words to any hymn or prayer. (Mom...)
4. Wear head-to-toe white. Or purple. Or a leather shirt and jeans.
5. Wonder, midway, if you're at the right church.
6. See an African sing Italian opera.
7. Pause the service entirely and force the congregation to walk the aisles and greet each other.
8. Refer fondly to memories of being born out of wedlock and spanked as a child; the crowd laughs.
9. Collect money "for the burial" though the deceased is being laid to rest several time zones away.
10. Answer your telephone.
